Silver Roses
by KingMochi13
Summary: On a night of summer Roxas wakes up panting heavily and with a horrible pain, when the pain increases and goes to the bathroom, he throws up, and when his eyes dare to look at it, he gets scared. A silver rose, covering by his blood, is there, the same silver of Riku's hair.


**I do not own Kingdom Hearts and it's characters. I do this only for a hobby. The only thing i own is the drawn i did for the cover. This is set in a school Au where the Hanahaki disease exists.**

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" _The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals. It can be cured without side effects only when the feelings are returned"_

Roxas panted heavily as he woke up out of the sudden in the middle of the night, his chest going up and down as he tried to calm down, sitting on the bed and wiping the sweat from his forehead. He looked around on his room and noticed that his sudden actions didn't woke up his dear brother, who was sleeping with all the sheets messing and falling but with a wide smile on his face, Roxas smiled softly and then looked to the window.

He woke up because he felt a sudden pain on his chest, so painful, that made him to forcibly open his eyes. But as he keep looking to the window, seeing the trees waving softly, he feels a bit disappointed, he is not feeling any pain now, and to add to that, he is not sleep anymore.

But when he is about to stand up to go to the bathroom, the painful feel cames back, and more painful, he feels like wanting to throw up, and feeling he won't make it to the bathroom, he runs instead of walking, covering his mouth with both hands as he feels something coming up from his stomach. And once he finally makes it, he can't hold it and just lets everything came out into the sink, coughing and holding his stomach.

When he stops, he tooks a deep breath and opens his eyes and looks in fear at what came out.

A flower.

 _A silver flower._

And when he was about to pick it up, the pain comes again and makes him hold his stomach again, coughing and letting everything out, he feels about six, or seven flowers getting out and then it stops, he tooks a deep breath and gently picks up one of the flowers, cleans the blood with his thumbs and looks at it, a single sign fills the room and the blond throws the flower in the trashcan, along with the others, then cleans all the mess and goes back to his room, back to his bed where he tries to close his eyes and have a normal night.

As the morning came Roxas was woke up, not for the pain, but because of his older brother, who was shaking him slightly, having a dorkly smile on his face.

"Roxas! Wake up! C'mon! You didn't forget right? Today Riku comes back from his vacations with his grandparents!" The brunette keep shaking his brother and keep rambling about how his best friend was coming back, after being one month away from him, to spend the rest of the summer vacations with him. "Roxas! You promised me you would came with me!"

Ah, sometimes Roxas regrets to be so kind to his brother. And with a whine he opened his eyes and just nodded at Sora's words, slowly standing up. He looks at his blue eyes and feels a bit of guilt on his chest, should he tell him about last night? About how he spilled flowers with the color of his best friend's hair? He decided to no, Roxas has been always like this, prefers to suffer in silence, instead of talking out about it.

After some long minutes, Roxas is finally out of the bathroom, already dressed and looks at Sora, who is waiting for him in their room and stands up from his bed when sees him, his cheeky smile still there.

"Ready?" And Roxas nods "Took you a while there!" But Roxas ignored his words, he can't tell him that he spit out another four flowers of the same color while he was showering and had to wash all his body again thanks to the blood.

While walking to the train station, Sora couldn't stop talking about the many plans he had to spend, as he called, the most amazing summer vacations ever, and how he would make of this summer, the best of his life thanks to the adventures he would have with his best friend Riku, and Kairi, but the girl would came two days later, so as for now, Sora only had Riku, and, for Roxas's bad luck, Sora also had him. Roxas sighed, feeling more guilty as he listened to all his brother's plans, that included him, he didn't have to, Roxas did had some friends and evey then he hang out with them, but Sora loved his brother, and he didn't need the typical mother phrase of "Take your brother with you" Sora just did it.

"Do you think Riku would like to go to the cinema to watch "Heroes of the Keyblade"?" Asked the brunette and the blond looked at him, then up to the sky, and then back at his brother, shrugging.

"I think he would like, doesn't he follow the comic?" And Sora pouted a bit.

"I didn't know that!" Roxas chuckled a bit and Sora just pouted more, in a playful way, he also made his cheeks look like the ones of a chipmunk. "How do you know that?"

Roxas shrugged again "I just asked him"

Riku was Sora best friend since he was 6 and Roxas was 5, the silver met both boys when playing at the beach and asked to join them. Sora smiled cheerfully and nodded, but Roxas just looked at him and then back to the sandcastle he was doing, since then, Riku would always join them, and even went to pick them to their house. It was a thing of time before Roxas started to feel more than a friendship towards him, because Riku, no matter how harsh or how many times he avoided him, he would always smile at Roxas and offer him help whenever he needed it.

In all this 6 years, Riku always followed both boys, playing together, crying and laughing together. For the next 4 years, Riku keep being the calm, kind best friend Sora had, and when he introduced a red haired girl, their social group grow up a bit more.

But Roxas's eyes were still on Riku.

So when he noticed that he had the Hanahaki ill, he didn't cry, he didn't yell in fear. He knew it was a thing of time for his body to start growing a horrible plant inside of him and to throw up the flowers, but a part of him, was sad. To throw away his feelings, and to not die because of the ill, he would need a surgery, and with that, all his feels towards Riku would disappear, and Riku would feel like a stranger to him. The blond hasn't even considered the option where the ill is cured by Riku loving him as well, because Roxas is sure that Riku's eyes aren't on him, but on Sora.

Riku would always pay more attention to Sora, would always hug more Sora, would always look more at Sora, and would always look out more for Sora than for him, Roxas noticed, especially on those days were Sora was sick, or couldn't play with them, Riku would just cancel the plans and didn't came, even if Roxas was available to play. Riku once said it was because _"It wouldn't be the same without Sora"_ But for Roxas, this was a lie, he knew Riku was there for Sora, and not for both.

So it didn't matter, he said to himself, it doesn't matter if this love is one sided. I will pay the surgery on myself, and pretend this never happened.

"Hey, Roxas!" The voice of his brother calling him made a snap on him and to came back to reality, they were already at the train station and Sora was holding a bottle of grape juice in front of him "Earth calling to Roxas! You okay?"

"...Yeah, i'm okay" Roxas took the juice, mumbling a thanks and started to drink it as his brother did the same, but with a orange one.

"There is so many people...I hope Riku is not late" Roxas just nodded at his comment and waited, both staring at the amount of people going in and out, getting in and out of the trains. Until suddenly, a ray of silver hair passed in front of Roxas's eyes and he poked his brother's arm, then pointed to the direction where he saw the hair.

"Isn't him that one over there?" Sora smiled big as his eyes shined and nodded to Roxas.

"Yes! Let's go Roxas!" And grabbing his hand, Roxas let himself being drag by the brunette and bites his lower lip, feeling fear on his chest, he took a deep breath as they run between the people, trying to calm down, What if he spits out a flower right in front of Riku?

He prayed to the flowers to keep calm on his inside.

But the fear was growing up as closer as they were getting.

"Riku!" Sora let go his hand just to jump in the air and hug the silver boy, who almost fall into the ground and laughed, holding the brunette back and squeezed him a bit before letting him down and ruffle his hair "How was the trip?"

"No bad, but without internet it gets a bit boring" Riku smiled a bit as he looked at Sora and then looked at Roxas, who tensed up with his eyes over him "Roxas! You won't greet me buddy?" And opened his arms.

Roxas stared at Riku and gulped, the pain on his stomach was starting to make him feel bad but he tried to ignore it, slowly walking, shaking a bit and wrapped the silver boy with his arms, feeling the warm of Riku as he hugged him back and closed his eyes, enjoying the little comfort on being helding by a bigger boy than him, Riku has gotten tall, he thinks.

"I missed you blond buddy" Whispered Riku on his ear and Roxas tenses more, he feels his cheeks burn and the sudden urge to throw up, he bites his lower lip harder as he gulps, trying to repress the horrible pain and tries to reply back.

"I..I missed you too...Mop" And Riku separates, looking at him with a little pout.

"Still with that?" And Roxas chuckled a bit, but suddenly, the blond covered his mouth, holding his stomach and curved a bit, Riku and Sora got worried and tried to get closer to him, but Roxas stepped back, looking at both boys in fear.

"So..Sorry!" That was all he could say before running to the closest bathroom he could find and throw up, he coughed and coughed and his grip got more hard on the cold sink, he doesn't know for how many minutes he throw up silver flowers, but he couldn't stop, and slowly, the tears started to join the blood falling on the sink along with the flowers.

"Fuck.." He whispered, along with a whine, slowly trying to get his breath normal again and wiped the blood from his lips with the back of his hand, he looked around in the tiny bathroom and grabbed some of the toilet paper from the only cabin and started to clean, trying to put himself together.

When he got out to see a worried Riku and Sora, he just gave them a fake smile, that luckily, they believed, and went to Riku's home to help him with the unpacking.

And so, the rest of the summer vacations started to pass, along with Sora's plans of a fun summer.

Except that Roxas rejected all his brother's plans, making excuses that he didn't feel well, or with the excuses of his friends, who were having their summer vacations on other cities, wanting to chat with him via internet, he did feel bad for lying to his brother, but, he didn't want to see Riku, he knows that, if he ever makes a single eye contact, he will throw up again, and if the pain of throwing flowers when he is not around is already a pain, he doesn't want to feel a pain much horrible than that if he is with him.

On one of the days Sora got out with Riku and Kairi, the blond got the courage to tell their mother about it, the old woman looked at his son with fear and sadness, she slowly hugged him and caressed his hair, telling that everything was going to be fine, that she would buy him some medicine so the flowers wouldn't hurt when throwing up, and that, he should say his feelings to Riku.

"You have to, because, if he doesn't love you...You know what we will have to do, right?" Roxas nodded, trying to clean the tears from his messy face.

"Surgery" And with that, the loss of all feels towards Riku, and Roxas didn't want that, he didn't want to feel Riku as a strange, he wanted to laugh, to cry, to join Riku's company and to be with him. But destiny was cruel. His mother nodded as she kissed his son's hair and hugged him once again.

"If he rejects you, you must tell me" Roxas nodded at his mother's words.

Confessing and Rejecting.

Those were the two things Roxas was fearing most on his last days of summer. He had nightmares about being rejected and he wake up in the middle of night, crying silent and having to run to the bathroom to throw up.

And when classes start, for Roxas is more hard to avoid Riku, the night after their second day of class started he cried, because Riku has on one of his optative classes, and that meant, that Riku would offer to walk him to his house.

At the week of class, Roxas has made too many excuses to avoid Riku, and it hurts to him, it hurts so much when sees Riku's sad face when all his responses are a "No", it hurts to him when Riku mumbles a "Okay" and leaves Roxas alone, biting his lower lip to try to not throw up in the moment.

Sora has also noticed this, and has tried many times to confront his little brother for his behavior to Riku, when he has doing nothing to make him mad. But Roxas keep brushing him away and his questions, but one day, Roxas couldn't avoid him and, the pression he was doing on him was to much that just made the blond explode.

"I'm in love with Riku okay!? I got the fucking Hanahaki!" And his eyes widened when felt the pain again, he couldn't hold it until the bathroom, he coughed and throw up in front of his brother, slowly falling to the ground, making Sora to kneel in front of him worried, gently caressing his back and helping him to throw out the silver flowers.

"Why...Why you didn't tell me….? Does mom know?"

"..." Roxas looked down, slowly wiping and cleaning the blood from his mouth "She knows, i had to tell her after she saw me throwing up on the kitchen"

"Roxas…" Sora called, gently hugging his brother and caressing his hair. "When do you plan on telling Riku?"

"I don't know"

"He is worried, you know? He thinks he did something bad that has making you push him away...He is always asking how are you" Roxas closes his eyes as he clings to his brother and cries in silence.

He is not worried, he thinks, Riku is just worried of seeing Sora worried, Riku just sees Sora and nothing else.

But he doesn't project his sadness into hate to his brother, instead, he lets his brother to hug him more and to comfort him as he slowly falls asleep on his arms, remembering some words he said before falling completely into Morpheus's arms.

" _Riku will came here tomorrow…"_

When Roxas wakes up he is on his bed, and with his pajama, maybe Sora called their mom to help him to put him on the bed, he smiles a bit, even if he is rude with Sora, he would always smile at him, and yell that no matter what, he loves him. He looks to the window and sees its already night. The moment he fall asleep on Sora's arms it was the afternoon, so maybe he just slept some hours, then looks at the clock to confirm it and sees he has slept about four hours, then, suddenly, remembers Sora's words.

 _Riku will came here tomorrow_

And his body tenses, he doesn't want to see Riku, he doesn't want him to came, he doesn't have any valid excuse to leave the house and doesn't have any valid excuse to not hang out with him, he bites his lower lip in fear as he tries to look for something on his head that can save him, but nothing comes.

But what Roxas didn't know, it was that Sora was sending a message to Riku, and didn't know that the silver was almost running to came to their house.

And when he heard the knocks on the principal door he almost jumped and looked at Sora, who was walking out of their room.

"Who..?"

Sora looked at him, and looked away, feeling guilty.

"Riku" Replied and almost run out of the room before Roxas couldn't say anything.

"...Why...Why….Wouldn't he came tomorrow?!" Yelled, but he knew that his brother didn't listen to him, Sora was already down on the first floor, and probably, already opening the door for the silver boy. "Shit..Shit.." Roxas looked around, trying to find anything that he could use as an excuse to get out of there, when saw the window he didn't care if he was on the second floor, he stand up and went to the window, starting to open it when his body freezes as he hear the voice of the person he tried to avoid all this time.

"Roxas" Riku sounded serious, mad and that made the blond to tense up more and look back at him in fear, his eyes widened and his hand already on his stomach, the pain started as soon as he hard his voice "We have to talk" The silver demanded, walking to him and Roxas just gulped, feeling the flowers trying to get out of his mouth. With not letting the blond replied, Riku grabbed his wrist and forced him to get out, passing besides Sora who whispered a "Sorry" to Roxas but this one looked in fear at him, and feeling betrayed by his own brother.

"Ple..Please let me..go…" Roxas mumbled lowly, trying to get free from the grip of Riku's hands but this one just ignored him, and keep dragging him, getting out of the house and going down on the road that was to go the beach, once there, Riku let go Roxas's hand and looked at him, a mad and sad expression on his face as he closed his hands into fists.

"What is wrong with you? Did i did something bad?" And Roxas shaked his head, he bite his lower lip, the flowers were so close to getting out.

"Then what is wrong? Why you have been avoiding me? I thought we were friends!" And when Roxas did the mistake to look at Riku, he looked at who the usual calm boy, was now shivering, shaking, as he tried to not let the tears accumulated on his eyes fall.

"We..We are friends…"

"Then what's wrong?!"

And Roxas can't hold it anymore, letting the flowers came out and fill the sand under him, one, two, three, four, many, many silver flowers getting out from his stomach. It's so much that Roxas falls on his knees, holding his stomach and crying as he just throws up everything. It hurts.

"Why..Why you didn't…" Riku walks to Roxas and kneels in front of him, he tries to touch him but he prefers to keep his hand down and wait until Roxas stops. After the blond coughs for the last time and cleans his mouth he looks up to Riku and this one signs.

They remain in silence until Riku signs once again.

"I'm sorry Roxas….But…"

And with that, Roxas knows it. Knows that this is the end.

That from now on, Riku will be nothing, but a stranger to him.

 _For Nilam; I know you don't like sad ends, however, the fanfic ends here. But for you, the real end comes now._

Or that is what he thinks, but Roxas's thoughts are interrupted when Riku continues, and Roxas tries to prepare himself mentally for the end.

"But i didn't know you had a crush on me...I...I thought this was one sided"

Roxas's eyes widened in surprise and looked at the silver.

"W..What?" Riku chuckles a bit and then starts to cough, and more, and after some seconds the silver has to cover his mouth to keep coughing, until the similar sound that Roxas does when throwing up is heard. Roxas forgets how to breath for some seconds as Riku shows him what just came from his mouth.

A small, yellow flower.

The same yellow from his hair.

Riku smiled a bit, some blood still falling from his mouth "I like you Roxas"

Roxas was about to talk when suddenly Riku hugged him, and the blond felt his cheeks burn like hell as he tried to process everything. And finally, after weeks of suffering, the pain is not there, he finally feels a warm sensation, he finally feels nothing coming out and finally, feels a big calm.

"Do you understand what this means Roxas?" The blond shakes his head, he just lets Riku hug him more "We are cured! We are cured Roxas!" Ah.

So that was.

Roxas slowly smiles as he feels tears rolling out from his eyes and finally gives the hug back, chuckling softly "We are cured…" He mumbles back.

That day, was the last one Roxas and Riku throw up a flower.


End file.
